I would say that we, mothers, are the “creators” of life but I don’t want to take all the credit for actually “creating life” from the big guy. I’m more of the vessel that nurtured that life and brought that life into the world. Regardless of what we are referred as, becoming a mother is transformational. Your mind, body, and spirit literally go through a huge transformational shift. You are now concerned with what you eat, your stress levels and how much sleep you get. Your body somehow knows just what to do to help harvest a tiny being. Once the baby arrives, you are focused on their safety and if you decide to breastfeed, you are making a huge commitment to provide your child with the best and healthiest option for them. The human body (the FEMALE human body more specifically) is so amazing. That’s why I found it a bit offensive when I recently read a blog post from another mother whom received negative comments after receiving a C-Section –something to the effect of her “taking the easy route”. Now luckily for me I never had to experience a C-section with either birth, but I’m almost certain it shouldn’t be considered an “easy way out”. It reminded me of a comment made by a distant relative (by law lol). She asked me if I had had an epidural with my daughter. When I replied yes with no hesitation, she replied “I guess you aren’t a real woman”. WOW. Though I laughed it off, its sad that women, other mothers, judge your “womanhood” by the means in which you give birth! Crazy! Now its one thing for our men to “not get it”, but another mother should have a bit more compassion. So for you men who tell your women NOT to get an epidural, or you women who look down on other women because they didn’t deliver naturally, let me briefly break a few things down for you people.
“The Easy Route” (a.k.a the C-Section)
Let me preface this again by saying that I have never had to experience a cesarean section, however I have very close friends and relatives that have. So with a little bit of my own knowledge, and a lot of Goggle, please continue reading. Disclaimer: I am not trying to scare any current moms-to-be, especially if you have a scheduled for an upcoming c-section LOL. C-sections are almost always performed because a vaginal delivery is not an option; maybe because the baby is breeched, or in emergency situations, because the baby’s heart rate is declining or it has been found the baby is “stressed” and is no longer moving down the birth canal. There can be a number of reasons a mother has to get a C-section and I’m pretty sure it’s not because she hit her OB GYN up and requested the “easy route” at 9am. As a matter of fact most Obstetricians won’t perform a C-section unless it’s necessary. You know why? Because its considered MAJOR surgery that comes with risks. A surgery that you are NOT put to sleep for. A surgery where your abdominal muscles are literally separated to reach the uterus to pull a live, breathing human from. A surgery that requires stiches and sometimes staples which can take up to half an hour to administer. So I apologize, but this does not seem like an “easy route” to me. And while the risks are rare I’m sure any mother who is told she has to receive a C-section has concerns, questions, and is naturally worried. Especially if a C-section is a result of an emergency situation. How would you feel, completely numb from the waist down, strapped down to a table as a doctor cuts open your stomach all while being 100% conscience because you had no other option to deliver. Men and women, I’m sure you will think twice before considering this as an “easy route”. No she didn’t have to push through those God awful contractions, but TRUST her dues were paid!
“The Pain Free Route” (a.k.a The Epidural)
I was 23 and pregnant with my first child, and from the time I found out I was pregnant, I had it made up in my mind that if the pain got too intense I was getting an epidural. Hands down! No discussion. I wasn’t in the business of trying to prove a point or be this amazing “She-ro”. I have a very low tolerance for pain. I’m talking paper cuts are the end of the world. I’m the girl who will avoid washing the top of her hand for like a day if I’ve scratched it because I’m afraid the warm water and soap will make it burn. The girl who falls out in agony after hitting her baby toe on the edge of a coffee table or bed because I’m certain remnants of said toe are scattered about on the floor. I am dramatic and I hate pain! And nothing scared me more than labor and delivery. After hours of “laboring” and finding out I was still only 3cm dialated, I had enough and requested an epidural. I didn’t feel bad about it either. I was in –what I thought at the time– was the worst pain ever (which I learned 4years later WAS NOT the worst pain I would ever experience.) Hours later I pushed my daughter out with no pain. Getting the epidural itself, however, was not as pleasant. They clear the room completely out and cover from head to toe. The prep itself is intimidating from them making you aware that “hey, we are going in your spine with a long needle and there is a SLIGHT chance you could be paralyzed…rare but there is chance”. “Oh, and I know you're having contractions currently and want to scream, but we need you to be very still or, like I said, you could be paralyzed”. But at that moment someone could have hit me over the head with a cast iron skillet, I was wiling to take my chances! LOL Anything to remove the pain. I will admit it was GREAT after I got the drugs. And when I say drugs, I mean literally, DRUGS. The IV that is administered isn’t just a concoction of general anesthesia on steroids, it contains narcotics. To this day, there are moments of my delivery I can’t fully remember. Why? Because I was high!
“The God-What-The-Hell-Was-I-Thinking” (a.k.a. Going Natural)
Ahh the natural birth! No drugs. The “this is the way our ancestors did it”, the “real woman” way of giving birth. Now having experienced the “natural” way with my recent delivery of my son, I have quite a bit to say on this. My decision to go natural this time around wasn’t because my husband convinced me or because I wanted to prove a point of strength to the “distance relative”, or anyone for that nature. It was because I was really curious. Curious to know what it REALLY felt like. I had made it up in my mind that this was our last child, and something in me was curious to see if I could really do it. In addition to the fact that I HATED the way the drugs made me feel after having my daughter. What they don’t tell you is that when you have an epidural you have to get an uterine catheter. Rightfully so, you are numb and there really is no way of knowing if you have to pee. And even if you did know you had to pee, you surely can’t walk to the bathroom. Your legs are noodles! So with that I researched breathing techniques, delivery positions, massages hubby could do while in labor and walked into that hospital with a pillow and a goal! I focused on “going natural” but reminded myself that drugs were still an option. Truth be told, I “broke” and requested an epidural a few hours in. LOL However, just my luck, as they were about to administer the epidural, I began crowning and in just a few pushes he was out, and I was drug free! I’ll admit, I feel proud (though it was kind of by accident I went natural lol), but proud nonetheless. Proud of myself that I listened to my body, focused on the cues and practically TOLD the nurse it was time though she couldn’t believe I had progressed so quickly. It’s so true, when you have to push you surely know! I didn’t experience any of that with Dreux. So yes, I’m proud of myself for pushing an 8lb baby out DRUG FREE with my lamaz coach, a.k.a Hubby, right by my side. Does that make me more of a woman than the mom who had to get a C-section or the mom who chose to end the agony with an epidural? Absolutely not! Being a mother in itself is a selfless act and it’s pretty absurd to belittle (or praise) any mother because of her “method of delivery”. Like seriously? The fact that we had to go through 9months of sobriety while dealing with hormonal fluctuations and emotional roller coasters, all while our waist, tits, thighs, and feet expanded is ENOUGH! The fact that we had to alter our eating patterns, swallow a Beats-sized pill every day, and change the way we slept (if we slept at all) should be enough. Women support one other. Who cares how she brought the little booger in the world. The fact is she did it and ALL methods have risks. People have died giving birth! This ish is serious. And unless you are a mother, your comments are definitely unwarranted and unnecessary. Men, stop pressuring your wives, girlfriends, baby mommas to “go natural”. When you push one out, then and ONLY then can you determine HER birthing plan. Support whatever choice is made and praise her for nurturing your seed. Mommies, moms-to-be, and future moms-to-be we are AMAZING, period! If your birthing plan didn’t/doesn’t go as planned, so what! Don’t get so caught up in how the baby gets here, just dedicate your self to making sure his/her life here is a wonderful one!
So will I do it [go natural] again? HELL NO! I came. I conquered. LOL