Coming to you straight from flight 1655. Lets talk about how God will push you and stretch you in order to bring out the best in you; test how much you truly trust him; and push you to- what you think is your “limit”- just to see how far your faith lies. Let me give a little preface to my story....
I have a serious fear of flying. Not the nauseous/vomiting kind-of scared. I'm talking the hot flash, heart pounding, stomach dropping, uncontrollable muscle spasm, fear. The fear that sits in the pit of your stomach before even reaching the airport. The fear that either requires a Xanax or a few Ketel Ones and Cran[berries] before take off. My ritual of praying for traveling mercies happens far before departure date. Then again the day of, once I arrive at the airport, again on the plane and a few extra times for good luck while in the air, ESPECIALLY at the first feeling of turbulence! Some trips are better than others but the ones when I’m with family and friends are much easier. I can grab an arm and rationale that if this sucker goes down at least I’m not going down alone. I know...its pretty deep lol My [recent] trip to NY was supposed to be a trip traveled with my sister, but due to flight cancellations, delays etc, I found myself on the plane alone! It didn't help that the reason for the cancellation was due in part to a recent incident with the very airline I would be flying with, only a week prior that resulted in a death of a mother of two! So, you can imagine the anxiety that had already built up in my body.
After kissing hubby as he boarded his flight to TN, literally next to mine, I didn't know if it was an omen or really God telling me that I need to be stripped of everything and everyone in order for my faith to truly be tested! He brought my husband to the airport and placed him right next to me, to give me that extra sense of comfort before boarding and then told me “baby girl I got you”. As always. I queued up my music and took a few breaths to calm my nerves. Said my last prayer and sat back. As the plane began to take off (the part I hate the most) Alicia Keys “This Girl is On Fire” was blaring through my Beats. I don’t think I ever really listended to the words of the song before and honesty I was about to change it to something else a bit more "turnt up". But I stayed on that song and at that moment I remembered my purpose for being on that plane. To travel to NY to attend a summit I had been INVITED to attend. The Tory Burch Foundation Embrace Ambition Summit for Women Entrepreneurs. For YEARS I dreamt (is dreamt even a word?) about this day. Where I would be traveling on behalf of my own company; growing my business; meeting other entrepreneurs and doing me! And here I am, heading to the big city lol. Why should I let fear mess up this moment! I am on fire, thank you Alicia! I have been praying heavy for guidance asking God to help me walk in my purpose. And here I am stuck between two strangers heading to NY for an amazing opportunity!
As the plane began to ascended and I felt my nerves kicking in due to the pause in music, Brave came on by Sara Bareilles. “I just want to see you be brave” screeched through my headphones as soon as the wheels came up! (Trust me I know every sound on the plane because every ding, chime and toot has my nerves on high alert) I digress though.... I can not make this up, a tear welled up in my eyes and I knew God was speaking to me. He just wants to see you be brave! Call it crazy but I felt something which prompted me to take my phone out immediately and write this literally as I sit here on the plane. No sister, no husband, just YOU. I want to see YOU be brave. [said God lol]
I get most of my revelations on planes. Primarily because I feel the most vulnerable. And God knows this and I think that's why he uses these moments to really show me where my strengths lies. I am completely and totally out of control (as if I'm ever REALLY in control; I do get a false sense of control when my feet are firmly placed on the ground though lol). But when I’m in the air, I can’t just get down; I can’t call it quits when I get too overwhelmed or walk away from the situation. No, I have to sit there. Be still and wait. Trusting that God will keep this device in the air through his trusted servants aka the pilots lol. Every bump my stomach drops and my mind wanders, questioning if this is the day it’ll fall out the sky. (I said I had a serious fear lol) But I’ve realized that at the end of the day all the worrying I’m doing is for nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I AM NOT IN CONTROL. And why worry over things you can not control? Again its so easy for me to “not worry” when the bank account is negative; or “not worry” if I don’t book that big client. But when I’m 10k feet above ground that “not worry” mentality goes out the window.
So how do I trust God with EVERYTHING? Not just the stuff I felt I was controlling anyway....keep taking off; keep flying! Each trip forces me to put more and more trust in God. To completely remove myself and feel the takeoff, enjoy the flight and praise him for the smooth landing. These experiences are for me to learn to be free, to be faithful and understand that everything for my life has already been mapped out and if I am to go down (LORD FORBID) it was nothing on God’s green earth I could have done to stop it. Trust that God has my best interest at heart. Trust that God has ordained an amazing life for me and all I have to do is live out my purpose. As this flight descends (which literally seemed like 5mins since I've been writing the entire time) my heart is so full. I’m so excited for what the future lies ahead....now lets see how I do on this next flight...I’m actually a little excited to see God work again :)
....by the way Make Me Proud- Drake just turned on as we are making our final descend. God be showing OWT! God speaks to me through Alicia Keys & Drake, judge yo momma! He said he will meet you where YOU are lol
Blessed-Jill Scott was the final song played at we taxied into LaGuardia Airport! :)